101 Funny Love Quotes
1. If love is the answer, can you rephrase the question?
2. Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
3. A happy man marries the girl he loves; a happier man loves the girl he marries.
4. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. 2nd marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
5. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
6. Love is like a Rubix Cube, there are countless numbers of wrong twists and turns, but when you get it right, it looks perfect no matter what way you look at it
7. You know it’s love when you want to keep holding hands even after you’re sweaty.
8. You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.
9. Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.
10. Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
11. An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
12. Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.
13. Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.
14. No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.
15. Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.
16. You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
17. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener
18. Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met.
19. Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
20. Love at first sight is possible, but it pays to take a second look.
21. It’s better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
22. Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.
23. You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover’s arms can only come later when you’re sure they won’t laugh if you trip.
24. All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt!
25. The sincerest love is the love of food.
26. Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
27. I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
28. You know it’s love when you want to keep holding hands even after you’re sweaty.
29. The four most important words in any marriage… I’ll do the dishes.
30. Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humour in the woman.
31. Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
32. One good thing about Internet dating: you’re guaranteed to click with whomever you meet.
33. An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
34. Love is being stupid together.
35. You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.
36. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
37. Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.
38. A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
39. Once you have loved someone, you’d do anything in the world for them… except love them again.
40. Love at first sight is cured by the second look
41. There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart.
42. Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes…just be an illusion
43. Love is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can truly feel its warmth.
44. You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry
45. You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
46. Guys, when your girlfriend has Taylor Swift lyrics as her Facebook status, you’re either doing something very wrong or very, very right.
47. I love you like a fat kid loves cake.
48. Roses are red, violets are blue; sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl is empty
and so is your head.
49. Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
50. A husband or wife is someone who’ll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t have had if you would have just stayed single.
51. To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.
52. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
53. A man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him.
54. Don’t fall for someone who won’t be there to catch you.
55. Loves conquers all things except poverty and toothache.
56. The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.
57. Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house you can never tell.
58. Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion.
59. Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
60. Love is what happens to people who don’t know each other.
61. Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.
62. Love is like Pi: natural, irrational, and very important.
63. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
64. People say that you can’t live without love … But I think oxygen is more important.
65. Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end.
66. Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer bumpin’ uglies raises some pretty good questions.
67. Before you find your handsome prince, you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs.
68. A day without your love is like a year without wifi.
69. True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one.
70. Love is like a password. Hard to figure out, but you always want to keep trying.
71. Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it.
72. Men always want to be a woman’s first love; women like to be a man’s last romance.
73. Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.
74. The perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 A.M.
75. I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
76. Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.
77. My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my love to marry me.
78. Forget love, I’d rather fall in chocolate.
79. Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
80. Love lasteth as long as the money endureth.
81. Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
82. Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.
83. What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.
84. To be in love is merely to be in a state of perpetual anesthesia – to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess.
85. To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.
86. A frog in love would not be enchanted to learn that her beloved had turned into Prince Charming.
87. A lover is like a wedgie. Intimately close.
88. I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soul mate, but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.
89. Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.
90. Love is like an antidote and poison; when it falls in the wrong hands…it’s deadly…but another pair of hands helps.
91. Never let a kiss fool you and never let a fool kiss you.
92. It is impossible to love and be wise
93. True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
94. Nobody is truly in love until they understand every word their lover is NOT saying.
95. Never sign a Valentine with your own name.
96. Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.
97. Love is a promise delivered already broken.
98. A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
99. Love – a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.
100. The only people who make love all the time are liars.
101. Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met.
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